I heard a quote recently, "write something like nobody is going to see it...now that's something worth reading." This made me realize that I created this blog and had every intention of being open, vulnerable and honest, then somewhere along the way, I got busy and I got anxious. There are so many things I'd like to write about moving forward, making this my little diary. However, there's something pressing that I need to be open on and it's something I've been struggling with for longer than I'd care to admit.
Hanxiety...ever heard of her? Well, I certainly have - I've known her since I first started drinking...at twenty one, of course. Some have minor hanxiety when they drink, but for those of us with anxiety and depression, it's all consuming and nearly, unbearable.
Let me set the scene....you go out, you have fun with your friends, you say a couple of silly things, you do some things that you wouldn't typically do sober, maybe spend a couple too many bucks. Okay, not so bad, right? What do they call it when you do something you wouldn't normally do....liquid courage? BUT for someone with crippling anxiety, like myself, you wake up, you cannot bear to look at your phone, you question every action and every single thing that came out of your mouth the night before and can't move from your bed for the remainder of the weekend. Essentially, you're not mentally okay for about 5-7 business days.
This happened to me recently, okay no, to be honest, it actually happens just about every time I consume alcohol. So, for that reason, I had decided to take a much-needed break. Not like an "okay I'm never drinking" break but more of a prioritization break. The goal was to take this break to work on my mental health, uplift myself, work on my relationships, and heal some parts of myself that need attention. This wasn't easy for me, I love being a social butterfly, going to all social events, having drinks with friends and telling each other how we're *really* feeling. So, for those of you who also become overconsumed by hanxiety after a fun night out, I'd love any and all advice on how you've overcome chronic hanxiety.
I hate admitting that I'm not perfect, that I don't have it all figured out and that I really am struggling but from here on out, I promise to be more vulnerable and open with you. That's why I started this blog in the first place, right? All I ask for in turn - if you have any recommendations on journals that you love or advice on how to better yourself, I'm all ears and will gladly take you up on any and all recommendations.
They say the first step is admitting you have a problem, right? My problem just so happens to be hanxiety - stay tuned on this topic :)
I have a couple more convos in the queue for us - the classic from me aka dealing with anxiety, life changes and much more. BUUUUT I do have some other big events coming up that I will certainly need some support from you guys on and as always, I know I can count on you!