Have you ever felt soooo good when you go out then someone takes a pic of you and you're like "....there's no way THAT'S what I look like right now." Well, a few weeks ago, I was in an environment where there were a million and three pics being taken with my girlfriends. So after a few drinks, we got onto the topic of insecurity. So naturally as women, we talked about our teeth, our hair, our skin, and of course the killer, our weight.
As women, we are constantly bombarded with messages about what we should look like. We are told to be thin, but not too thin. We are told to have curves, but not too many curves. We are told to be confident, but not too confident. We worry about what other people think of us. We worry about whether we are attractive enough. We worry about whether we are too fat or too thin. All of this worrying takes a toll on our mental health and well-being.
To be totally transparent, about a year and a half ago, I was struggling with severe anxiety and depression. So, I decided that enough was enough. I wanted to bridge the gap between where I was and the better version of myself, so I went on meds, Lexapro to be exact. Now this isn't to shame Lexapro by any means because honestly, being on it was the best and the happiest that I had ever felt. Now that said, the best and the happiest that I've ever felt sounds like a life of rainbows and butterflies...but here's the kicker - the weight gain just would not stop. I tried anything and everything that is *supposed to* make you lose weight but somehow every day that I stepped on the scale, I felt my self-confidence dwindle to dust. So, I went back to the doctor and I switched over to Wellbutrin, a medicine that's known to more-so stabilize your weight, which has certainly helped and it's allowed me to lose the weight that was totally crushing my self-esteem.
BUT GUESS WHAT? As I said before, when I chatted with my friends, we didn't just talk about our weight....we also talked about our teeth, our hair, our skin, and the list goes on and on. The truth is that every person is insecure about something and as women, we'll nitpick ourselves. Once I started losing the weight, I started being insecure about the spots on my teeth. Once those are fixed, I'd move onto the next thing about myself. It never ends...but why are we so hard on ourselves? Why can't we just accept our flaws and call them beauty?
Personally, I think that a large part of the answer is social media. We scroll on Instagram, Tiktok, Facebook and see the highlight of people's lives, the best version of themselves, and naturally compare ourselves to that highlight.
I don't follow celebs or influencers for the most part, unless I know them personally, because I like to have a connection to my socials. However, there is one celeb that I do feel that connection to: Selena Gomez. Honestly, she is the best role model for body positivity. I look at her body and then I look at mine and I see so much similarity. So, it obviously hurts when I see people body shaming her. BUT she has totally blocked it out - she's happy in her body and I'm sure it's taken a lot of work to get to where she is. I hope that I, and every other woman out there, can get to the same place she seems to be at.
It is important to remember that there is no one "right" way to look. We are all unique and beautiful in our own way. Instead of focusing solely on our looks, let's focus on our accomplishments, our passions, and our relationships. Let's celebrate our strengths and work on improving our weaknesses. Let's be kind to ourselves and to others.
This just felt like a topic I wanted to speak on, because it's time to be authentic in how we're feeling. That way, other women know that they're not alone. If you're feeling down and out or insecure, let's chat. I'm always here for you, and hell, I'm sure I can relate to however and whatever you're feeling.
xoxo love always,